There I was, in the shower, looking in the mirror at my forehead shedding a thick layer of skin, right in the middle, the size of my palm. I began to peel it off, to assist the process. I was left with a huge red raw indention in the middle of my forehead. I was in shock, not sure why it was happening. Totally freaked out and exhausted, crying, and scared for my health. Thinking, “How is this happening?”.

 

Feeling confused, all alone, weeping over my situation, I crawled out of the shower, feeling totally defeated and lost. Too many toxins were expressing through my skin with acne on my face. In the shock of another failed marriage and more separation from my family and children. A new addiction to overcome from trying to escape the pain. Not sure how to fix my life or even feeling strong enough to begin. Praying out-loud, tears rolling down my face, the floor is wet and I’m shaking, naked and cold. Looking at myself in the mirror I decided I needed to take drastic action to change.

 

So I found a pencil to draw a line on the floor. I watched myself in the mirror tell myself that as soon as I step over this line, I am going to stop escaping reality with substance abuse. I am going to do the right things to feel better in my body for my health! Bawling my eyes out, I stepped over the line, and continued to cry and towel off. I sat with myself for a while and thought deeply about how I ended up unbalanced, depressed and addicted to all the wrong things. I thought about the people I love the most, how much I missed them, and how lost and disconnected I felt. I sat there and cried for hours, knowing I was lost and needed to change.

 

Pondering on how I could get my life in order, find my purpose and enjoy my life fully with my loved ones. Knowing I had a lot to fix, I lit a candle, and wrote in my notebook to journal my thoughts about my decisions the day the tides turned in my life and my resilience was revealed for my own best health.

I decided to take an epsom salt bath and go to bed early and when I woke up my body was still asleep and I could not move, but I could open my eyes. I had the overwhelming sense that something was sitting on my chest, I opened my mouth to scream but there was no sound. Then, I took a deep breath, and after a few seconds my voice came back, I was so scared. I got up in disbelief and went downstairs to tell my mom what had happened.

 

We talked about it, but she didn’t seem to believe me. It reminded me of a dream I had when I was a child, that I would scream and no sound would come out. I used to get strep throat every year as a child. I had a lot of throat issues all of my life. I stuttered in grade school and had to take speech therapy classes. I was constantly on antibiotics every spring, so my adrenal system was overwhelmed by my mid-thirties. I’ve had throat issues my whole life, (including being diagnosed with hypothyroid disease, prescribed a lifetime of thyroid medicine, I replaced it with iodine). I found out that the fluoride in the water affects the thyroid gland if there is not enough iodine in the body. 

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My adrenals were shot from all the toxins, since I had been poisoned my whole life. Through research I discovered the water was toxic with fluoride and chlorine, the foods were poisonous with pesticides that cause cancer. Not to mention the daily over-the-counter drugs to fix a headache, pharmaceuticals, recreational street drugs, alcohol, GMO’s (genetically modified organisms) foods, processed foods, fast food, hormonal meat, dairy, sugar, stress, toxicity from breast implants, and a general toxic mind. Plus not being in touch with who I am or why I’m here. Always trying to escape this reality and the pain that I was born into and was re-creating via my subconscious mind and bad choices. I did some research as I was laying around, hoping to find some answers to help me feel better in my body and mind, and to find my joy, living this life.

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I started looking for counseling sessions for my mom and I since we now lived together,  and had never really had a chance to know each other or talk on a deep level. I spent most of my childhood (age 2-15) in an orphanage even though I clearly had a mother.  Unfortunately, she refused to talk to me and clammed up. She had just lost her husband to death, was very sick herself and taking a lot of medications. She was also working 40 hours a week, so she needed a lot of rest. I worried about her daily and wanted to help her feel better, lose weight and get healthier.  I knew her diet was affecting her negatively, the typical Standard American Diet truly is S.A.D.

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Reclamation

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“Like a wild dandelion breaking through the concrete to flower, or pulling myself out of the grave I was unconsciously digging.” 

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I decided to look up ways to detox myself and get the harsh chemicals out of my body as I could tell I was toxic. My skin was always breaking out in sores and pimples. I would need two hours just to apply makeup, and cover up the blemishes on my face. Plus, I felt very unmotivated all of the time, from numbing myself daily with substance abuse. I found deep-tissue massage helpful. Skin brushing and lymph drainage massage also helped me feel better. Saunas and Steam rooms helped me sweat out the toxins. I found out about powerful medicinal mushrooms: Reishi, Chaga, Turkeytail, Shiitake, Maitake, Lion’s mane, and how they may pull out toxins. I noticed I was becoming more clear minded and had more energy when I added them to my smoothies. Eventually, I incorporated activated charcoal, in the hopes to pull out heavy metals.  I started to feel a little more clear in my mind, and see results of less swelling in my face and hands.  I learned about parasites and how they could be sucking the life out of me literally and physically, and where they may come from. I read about how food grade diatomaceous earth powder can shred internal parasites. One may get a little nauseous from it, but that is because the worms release a gas when they die, and one may feel it. Taking bile salts and digestive enzymes helped me with that.

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I started listening to positive speakers who shared about having a positive mindset, high vibrations and positive energy to bring yourself up to a happier existence. I began to journal, I would write positive affirmations and even wrote on the walls as a daily reminder of things that seemed to help me evolve my soul.  Things like, “Greet others in their greatness” was one that I can recall.  I wrote so much that I painted a blackboard on a few of the walls in the kitchen in order to have a chalkboard to write on, so that I could read the positive words I wrote.

 

I studied the law of one, the law of attraction, astrology, astrotheology, naturopathic practices, the power of plants, and homeopathy. I wanted to learn about myself and how to become a better version of myself so that I could overcome the darkness I was born into and was unconsciously continuing. I saw a hypnotherapist to help me retrain my subconscious mind, I listened to my own voice recordings of positive affirmations and that opened the doors in my life to huge change as I was dealing with a lot of loss in my life.

 

I was on a mission to change and do what I needed to do in order to be healthier, happier and find my stability.   On my journey to self-recovery, I found Solfeggio frequencies and binaural beats to help balance the brain and brain waves, so I began to enjoy time listening to the tones in hopes of it helping my mind. I enrolled in esthetician school to learn how to care for skin and possibly become an esthetician.

 

I was shocked to learn how most self-care products were loaded with toxins that were known carcinogens. The beauty school waited until the last semester to discuss transmittable communicable diseases, so I chose to not graduate after that semester’s informative session. 

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Realizing I needed to offer my passions as a service to humanity, and since I enjoyed yoga so much, I enrolled in a yoga teacher training course. After taking yoga classes for 15 years, I decided I’d like to learn how to teach it. I ended up taking the same course twice, not having enough confidence in myself to teach after the first 200 hours, I enrolled in the same class a third time, and the instructor asked me to leave - after I kept answering all of the questions out loud the first day of class. He said I had already passed, and I needed to go teach.

 

I didn’t have the confidence, because I had started dating a guy who constantly insulted me but opened my heart all at the same time.  I was going through a lot and was not able to process the moment correctly as I was unknowingly the target of a narcissist who was love bombing me and abusing me verbally and physically, and creating toxic soul ties.  I didn’t realize I was attracting the version of an abusive man I witnessed in my own mother’s life, and seemingly, I wasn’t able to break the codependent toxic relationship cycle, so I acquiesced.

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Even though I was detoxing my body, and my mind was becoming clearer while getting cleaner in my diet, in my lifestyle and my thoughts, I was dealing with a very toxic partnership. It was not really a relationship, as we were not relating.  I wasn’t a healed person when we began the union, so how could I attract a healthy partner? I couldn’t, and didn’t at that time. It was a true reflection of the toxicity inside of me. He was ready to take my life and live off of my energy. He ended up serving some time in jail for choking me, attacking me, and physically hurting me, intentionally.  After ten years of challenging times with a toxic life partner, who tried to stop me from speaking, sharing, or even living, I finally got away from him, with a lot of unconditional love and forgiveness for myself! That relationship was a detriment to my health, and I could tell the stress was a true killer. One can seemingly be in great health, but when stress is all around, daily, it can and does cost lives. 

 

Resilience 

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With my stability in a fragile state, again for the third major time, I realized that I needed time alone for self-reflection and deep healing. During my studies as a natural health coach, one of the first things they teach is that you must remove any toxic relationships in your life, and change any toxic environment in order to truly heal. Now, I had to focus on my self-care, nourishment, journey to detox my mind, body and spirit, and surviving an abusive relationship. I learned meditation, grounding, and the medicinal properties of wild plants and weeds. I spent a lot of alone time in nature and in meditation and prayer.  I helped my friends and family detox and lose weight quickly and easily with the things I had learned. Seeing their results warmed my heart and have helped me find my soul mission to serve others in the way that helped me heal myself.

 

I learned about more products for my health, like iodine, probiotics, humic acid, digestive enzymes and more. I taught myself how to grow sprouts to eat. I dedicated daily sunshine and barefoot grounding time outside with breathwork and yoga! I made sure to get massages regularly. I began to feel better and look better. I stopped needing to wear makeup. I used to spend a minimum of two hours applying cosmetics to cover up blemishes on my skin from the toxicities in my life. The toxins were coming out through my skin, because my liver was overloaded. 

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My mom was on a lot of pharmaceuticals, was nervous for her health and still wanted my help.  I began to incorporate what I had been learning to help my mom. I made her daily smoothies with medicinal mushrooms, organic fruits plus tonic herbs. I also started giving her organic grapefruit essential oil pills to help reduce mucus. She lost 100 pounds in a year, even though she was still sneaking poisonous fast foods. When I would clean her room and find fried chicken bags and candy wrappers, I knew she was not changing her diet. I looked up the pharmaceutical pills my mother was taking, the side effects, and how they depleted a lot of minerals in her body that kept her diseased. Her faith in the doctors, indoctrinated white coats, was so profound that she has been on their medication for over 20 years, and only gotten worse. The only time she got better was that year with me when she lost all that weight!

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She was doing great even though her emotional body was traumatized, as was mine, and living together I felt like we could heal our past pains. Since I was raised in an orphanage, and still had a mother, it didn't make much sense why I was in a children’s home away from her. I saw her one weekend a month and was traumatized with abandonment every weekend that she would return me to the orphanage.  I didn’t realize I had abandonment issues from my childhood, and it was causing me to give away my power and be addicted to numbing the pain with substance abuse. When I did eventually “get to” live with her, after the 9th grade, she pulled me out of my familiar reality at the prime of my school years, and put me in a school that was both a culture shock and a survival test. While she was there for me as a provider, it was a huge change. I went from a clean building to a roach-infested home. I was physically assaulted by my mom - the first time I was ever slapped, was for not unloading the dishwasher. I was emotionally traumatized on a deep level from being abused and abandoned.

 

I ran away for the day. When I returned, she apologized as she was full of guilt. Knowing she was doing the best she could, I forgave her, and we acted like it never happened. I always had unconditional love for my mom, and still do, even though she is non communicative with me still to this day. In hopes of her recovery, I share what I learn and hope she has the strength and will power to take charge of her health. One of my friends lost 60 pounds in six months, with the information I shared with him. By adding some activated charcoal and a few other items to his daily morning routine.

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Grounding Truth 

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Constantly toxifying oneself leads to sickness. The essential minerals from earth have the power to purify, re-mineralize and nourish the body. The gut brain, the seat of intuition, needs to be a clean and clear portal to function properly. Detoxing is essential for genuine and forward progress to occur. Detoxing self, thoughts, friends list, and personal environment, is a must. Adding essential minerals like cell salts is helpful to balance the body.  Self-care practices like meditation, breathwork and exercise are also valuable tools. 

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It all starts with you!  Knowing yourself, learning how to take care of your own body, remove toxins, reclaim your health, and heal your emotions with journaling our counseling. We all grow through the muck and the darkness, out of the filth and rise above it all and bloom into a beautiful being in the light of life and transformation. To transmute the old thinking into the new higher mind. Enlightenment!

Nature has answers, the trees, the weeds, the wild flowers and herbs all offer essential nutrients and help resolve common ailments. There is so much to discover in nature! Common dandelions and thistles assist the liver, we need the liver to live, (it’s in the word). I enjoy sharing the beneficial properties of wild weeds and how to incorporate them daily for nutrition and connection with nature. 

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Joyous Offerings

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In effort to be in alignment with truth and awareness, I share what worked for me in my detoxing process as a leader working with nature. I incorporate earth by-products, edible and medicinal wild weeds, yoga, breath-work, positive thoughts, affirmations, meditation, and living from the heart in my detox program. DivinityDetox.com, A 12-week program that shares how I gently detox and care for myself, plus how to make organic self-care products plus detox your home and recipes. How to easily sneak in medicinal and tonic herbs in food and drinks. I teach what foods to stay away from, and why, and what options are better alternatives to help the body. 

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I teach how to make a salt bath to assist in relaxing, detoxing and rejuvenating. To begin, I share how I made a blend of all-natural earth by-products to help remove molds, metals, and parasites out of the body to help me feel better, think clearer and be healthier, in a gentle and easy way. I share what I did, so others can decide what they would like to try. I am not a dietician, or a doctor, and only represent my experiences that helped me, in order to help them. I create a lot of self-care home-made all organic natural products like soap, hair oil, magnesium spray, bath bombs, salt bath mixes, face masks, toothpaste, deodorant, shampoo, hair rinse, mouthwash, laundry soap,and more, and teach others how to do the same. Removing toxins from skin products helps us stay healthy.  After taking many raw food and macrobiotic cooking classes, plus studying natural wild weeds, and their medicinal properties. I teach how to incorporate nature wild plants and their benefits for wellbeing.

 

Joy in the journey to personal health! As we share our wisdom and knowledge to help one another be our best selves as a collective. I share self care practices in my DIVINITY DETOX program available at DivinityDetox.com. I share how I cleansed my life, and inspire you to do the same so we can all reclaim our personal health!

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